☆ Encourage them to be self-forgiving when they make mistakes -- help them to see what they have learned from them and what you have learned from yours. Challenge their negative talk and make sure youre not too stressed to see the silver lining, too.

　　☆ Make the celebrity culture work for you and them -- keep abreast of their current heroes. If they dont know much about them, do some research together to see what has helped them become successful and stay motivated. Magazines and the Internet are full of interviews and stories about how famous people made it. You can then refer back to this meaningful wisdom when the going gets tough. For example: David Beckham didnt get where he is today by staying up all night playing computer games, or Kylie Minogue is so attractive because she smiles all the time.

　　☆当他们犯了错误时，鼓励他们原谅自己--帮助他们学会从错误中获得教益并告诉他们你从自己的错误中得到了什么教训。反驳他们的消极谈话，自己一定不要过于压抑以至于看不到失望中的一线希望。

　　☆让明星文化为你和孩子们发挥作用--了解他们当前心目中的英雄人物是哪些。如果他们不太了解这些人物，那你就与孩子们一起做些调查，看看是什么帮助这些明星成功并时刻让自己获得激励。杂志和因特网充满名人如成功的访问记和报道。当与孩子的交流出现问题时，可以回想一下并利用这些有用的智慧：比如“如果戴维·贝克汉姆整个晚上都玩电子游戏，他肯定不会取得今天的成就”或“剀莉·米诺格之所以如此迷人，是因为她总是面带微笑”。

　　☆ Encourage them to be self-reflective when they get it right -- help them to think about the hows and whys. Reminding them of things they have done well in the past may also help. For example:You seemed to have no trouble getting down to that essay. I wonder why it was easier for you to do your homework this week? Or: Do you remember during the exams last term, you found thinking positively and not panicking really seemed to help you?

　　☆ Hold back on negative criticism until they have made their own assessment. For example:Do you think putting yourself down all the time is motivating you? is better than saying:You shouldnt put yourself down -- it doesnt help. Similarly: Do you think you have lost interest partly because you are so tired? is preferable to: If you got to bed earlier, you would feel differently.

　　☆当孩子做对了，要鼓励他们进行思考--帮助他们想一想是怎样和为什么把事情做得很好的。让他们回忆过去做好的事情，这样做也有益。比如：“你写那篇文章似乎并不费劲。而且你做这礼拜的作业也更为容易?”或者“你还记得上学期考试时你发现处事乐观、积极，考场上镇静不慌确实对你很有帮助吗?”

　　☆在他们做出自我估价之前，克制反面的批评。例如：“你认为总是灰心丧气会对你有什么帮助吗?”的说法比说“你不该灰心丧气，这对你没有好处!”要好。同样：“难道你不觉得有时疲劳会使你失去兴趣吗?”就比“如果你早点睡觉，感觉就会不一样!”更可取。

　　☆ Encourage them to revel in their successes -- teach them that celebrating achievements can inspire others and that it can be done in a way that doesnt sound like bragging and doesnt make other people feel small. Dont forget that for developing self-motivation, it is more important to celebrate the smaller milestones than the major achievements -- they are naturally more rewarding.

　　☆鼓励孩子为自己的成功欢呼雀跃--告诉他们庆贺自己的成就能够激励他人，做法可以既不夸耀自己也不贬低他人。记住，要发展自我激励意识，庆祝较小的进步比庆祝大成就更为重要--它们当然更有回报。